Him and I
by Magic Mongol
Summary: Eeehh? Nani? But Sasuke-kun's supposed to be gay! Nothing seems wrong about this though. Maa. Curse you, Hello Kitty. I feel a major headache coming. SakuSasu, SasuSaku. ONESHOT. AU.


**Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto, nor the Yamato Nadeshiko Henge characters. And being a reader of this site, I expect you to be aware of those things already.**

**This is written in an alternate universe, by the way. That and some characters may be a bit OOC. Blame my two-year hiatus for that. lol. Enjoy.**

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**Him and I**

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"_It's something I never thought could come between us._" His voice cut the thin air like a sharp knife, interrupting the calming rhythm of the pit-pattering rain.

I squeezed my eyes shut, tight. 'No, please,' I silently begged. You can't do this to her.

Oh, Sunako-chan, why did you have to fall for him? Why? He's a jerk. A complete ass. You deserve so much better and all of us know that he's way out of your league. This cannot be love.

"_But I love you._"

Can it?

Well, even if it was, I still couldn't bear to see your heart break all over again.

I took a lunge for the nearest pillow to muffle the television's sound, squirming all the while. "Let me guess," A voice in my ear began. "You closed your eyes again?"

"What? Me? No." I faked a laugh at the receiver, "Why would I?"

I think I just heard a popping sound on the other end, followed by a disbelieving "Mm-hmm."

"Gum? You're so gay, Sasuke-kun." I declared with a grin, as I placed my Hello Kitty pillow aside, with eyes still closed. Then, I began venturing around the bed, searching for the remote to shut the DVD player off or at least put it to mute.

"I know, love." He drawled, allowing his low, baritone voice to be heard. "And you absolutely adore me for it," I smiled upon hearing this. "But you haven't answered the question, still."

Huffing indignantly, I plopped down my marshmallow-y mattress with an 'oof'. "But you won't understand," I whined, using the tiny voice that I just know he hates. "The kiss was just too… forceful." I muttered this, feeling somewhat offended and embarassed at the same time due to his sniggering.

Oh, geez. I have to ask Neji nii-chan how he makes this Uchiha forget things. He is his best friend, after all.

Shit. That sounded… _wrong_.

I let out a cough, extremely thankful that the guy would never get to see me flustered like this.

After shaking my head repeatedly, to rid of the evil thoughts that started invading it, I continued my rant, "Sunako's bordering on desperate and seeing her practically sucking Kyouhei's face off—very much acting vacuum-like, if you haven't noticed, it was just… god. It was just too much!" I sighed exasperatedly, stretching my legs and kicking Winnie the Pooh off the bed, in the process.

Another bubble popped, louder this time. "_You're_ too much, Sakura," says the bully. "She did force it on someone who doesn't like her back," Sasuke thoughtfully added, though, his voice distant.

"Ah, yes. And Uchiha Sasuke, finally sees the light of day!" I screamed, cheered I mean, over the phone, attempting to deafen the guy on the other line. "Just to inform you, I'm sticking my tongue at one Mister Uchiha right now." I laughed. "Uh-huh. And it's all because of you, my lovely cherry muffin," He proclaimed, heightening his voice to a point where I almost felt my eardrums burst.

Ack. Payback much?

"Eggpie, dearest," Crappy nickname, I know. I do lack the imagination, sorry to burst your bubble. "I'm aware of that. But, really now. Even if I admire that girl—yes, _more than you_; shut the fuck up, baka— she gave us females a bad name."

I can almost picture him tucking a strand of raven hair that have gone astray behind his pierced ear in annoyance, as he went on with his quest for the largest bubble made from gum ever.

At this point, I shifted around the cushion, until my head was a few inches from the bed's edge. I then placed the phone in the crook of my neck and tilted my head, while I made my long rose-tinted locks make waves to the floor. "Just like Rapunzel," I whispered, feeling proud.

"And Haruno Sakura shoots with her cookie rocket off from the face of the earth and into Neptune," someone said. Someone? Huh?

Oh, yeah. Sasuke-kun.

Grinning openly, I apologized, covering my eyes with a swing of an arm. "Haha, sorry about that." I rolled to my side. "What're you doing right now, anyways?"

After hearing a series of rustling sounds, he replied. "…Changing shirts."

"Eew," I cringed. "You _are_ aware that you're talking to a girl, right?"

"A hundred percent." I think I heard him nod here. "There's nothing wrong with it, you know. I'm a girl, too." Well, it wasn't much of a shocker. But hearing it on the phone, honestly, it still was a bit creepy for me.

Mistaking my silence for something entirely else, the Sharingan-user stated, "Ouch, Saku-chan. Have you forgotten already? _Itai_. That _hurt_." Weird enough, he actually sounded like he was.

I started to protest, quickly sitting upright, as I gathered my pink and green polka-dotted blanket around me.

"B-but… I didn't mean to offend you, Sasuke-kun. Seriously."

"Then I guess I'd have to tell Yamanaka that you never had your first kiss."

"WHAT?" I bellowed. " Why does it have to be the Queen bee? She'd never let me leave the school alive!"

"Your problem, Haruno. Not mine."

"What's wrong with a nineteen year-old reserving her first kiss for Prince Charming?" I retort, feeling truly insulted. "Am I considered abnormal now?" I just wanted to click my phone shut—but I can't possibly do that to him.

An awkward silence descended itself upon us.

I scanned the chaotic place I call my room, trying to blink away the tears, when I saw the remote resting stupidly on top of my side table drawer. I made a furious grab at it, wishing that it was my so-called best "guy" friend instead.

He's still not talking.

I pushed on the 'Off' button hard and threw the damned thing away.

'_Plonk._' It landed on my alien beanbag, that same one that Sasuke and brother gave me for my eleventh birthday.

I bit down harshly on my bottom lip.

And then I heard a kissing sound over the phone. A smooch.

Cocking my head to the side dumbly, I mumbled rather unintelligently, "Huh?"

I heard a long, audible sigh from the other end.

"Forgive me?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Oh, and Sakura?"

"Yup, Sasuke-kun?"

"I've got the whole world with me. And if it decides to send you away into exile just because you haven't gotten your first kiss yet, I'll be willing to come with you. Just so you know."

"I see, thanks."

"No problem."

"Uchiha Sasuke? Did I just make you gay?"

"Maybe you did, girl." A slight pause. "Hn. Maybe you did."

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**Author's Notes: Yatta!! I made it! lmao.n-n I'm back! I missed you guys. A BUNCH. Sorry for making your favorite Uchiha guy act weird in this one.TToTT Gomen ne, minna-san.TxT So, off you go then. I know you want to leave me a review. FUFUFU. Go click that purple button and show me some love.n-n**


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